I don;t know about you but this is fucking hot.
(Of course i am still on my personal crusade to be brutally honest in the majority of my life I wonder how this will finish up.)
Fuck it ill figure that out later. Despite my previous insistence that i cannot stand people some times about a year ago i came across a picture text that highlighted the importance of understanding that exams are not everything and they don't show things like whether you are a creative or morally good person. I planned to wait till this last group of little friends graduated to share it with them online as a kind of final ' hey i know i dont have much relevance in your lives but pls take this stolen jumble of photographic inspiration and i hope you fare well in your lives?' Im not quite sure what im trying to achieve, maybe its an air of humanitarianism and i really want the best for these people who id like to be friends with but hey im pretty unapproachable and these kids from two years ago probably dont give two shits about me so ahhh fuck it whatever here is that goddamn pic
Anyway I don't think I'll be posting anything else for a while but on my personal music listening craze i came across a band named Otep whos lead singer Otep Shamaya packs lungs on par with that of the roars of Corey Taylor from Slipknot.
The song that hit me was the last one called Jonestown Tea
Fucking packing more lyrical artillery than the armed forces
Jonestown Tea” is the final, ten minute track on Otep’s debut album Sevas Tra that is more of a drama than a song. It retells, in graphic detail, Otep Shamaya’s actual experience of being molested by her father as a teenager. Immediately this song pulls you in, the first distinguishable line being: “I remember him fucking me and I remember liking it.” This is only the beginning of the shocking content of this song. However, it is not simply shock for shock’s shake. “Jonestown tea” is a culmination of narrative, confession, and poetry. Its may be cringe-worthy, certainly repulsive, but the point is to leave no dark corner of the mind unexplored. Sugar coating what happened to her and others like her diminishes the painfulness of the experience. This song grabs you and forces you to look at something you don’t want to see.
In my readings about “Jonestown Tea,” I found an article that described some of how the song came to be. Otep knew that she wanted a dramatic piece on the album and agreed to record in front of a few studio executives. Supposedly her and the band went into the sound booth and improvised for 15 minutes or so. When they were finished Otep said that she looked up to see some of the execs “jaws on the floor.” I’m not sure whether she came up with some of this on the spot or if she had already written a poem and turned them into lyrics on the spot. One of the things I love about Otep is that a large portion of her lyrics originate from her own poems, some of them published. Anyway, the point is that the original idea for this song came from an improv session, something I have to give her and the band a lot of credit for.
One of the things I love most about this song is the way Otep related child molestation, specifically incest, to the Jonestown Massacre. The mass-suicide of 900 members of the People’s Temple cult led by Jim Jones was so tragic in part because of the variety of people that were killed. Fathers and Mothers would sip from the poisoned drinks they were giving everyone and would force their own children to drink from the vats as well. Here, I think what Otep is trying to do is parallel those parent’s actions with the actions of her father and the negligence of her mother. In essence, her parents killed her as well. This is just a guess, but I find the relation between the two to be perfect and innovative.
Even if metal is not something you can appreciate, one has to acknowledge that this song is not simply about screaming and being an angry rebel. “Jonestown Tea” brings to light issues that are often pushed aside because they are so uncomfortable. Child molestation and incest are such taboos that they often end up bringing shame to the victims when they happen. However, by so blatantly, unapologetically conveying this tragedy in her life, Otep is spreading awareness. I stumbled upon an article from 2006 that described how a teenage girl used this song to tell her mother about her father’s continual molestation of herself, as well as her little sister. The father is now in prison. In this case, art truly does save, as Otep has expressed on multiple occasions. It is an idea that she holds dear, so dear that her band’s debut album’s name serves as an anagram for the phrase “Art Saves.”
This song, whether you actually like the sound of it or not, is an important piece of music for so many people who have gone through this experience. It is without a doubt one of the most intense songs I have listened to date and a true work of art.
One of the things I love most about this song is the way Otep related child molestation, specifically incest, to the Jonestown Massacre. The mass-suicide of 900 members of the People’s Temple cult led by Jim Jones was so tragic in part because of the variety of people that were killed. Fathers and Mothers would sip from the poisoned drinks they were giving everyone and would force their own children to drink from the vats as well. Here, I think what Otep is trying to do is parallel those parent’s actions with the actions of her father and the negligence of her mother. In essence, her parents killed her as well. This is just a guess, but I find the relation between the two to be perfect and innovative.
Even if metal is not something you can appreciate, one has to acknowledge that this song is not simply about screaming and being an angry rebel. “Jonestown Tea” brings to light issues that are often pushed aside because they are so uncomfortable. Child molestation and incest are such taboos that they often end up bringing shame to the victims when they happen. However, by so blatantly, unapologetically conveying this tragedy in her life, Otep is spreading awareness. I stumbled upon an article from 2006 that described how a teenage girl used this song to tell her mother about her father’s continual molestation of herself, as well as her little sister. The father is now in prison. In this case, art truly does save, as Otep has expressed on multiple occasions. It is an idea that she holds dear, so dear that her band’s debut album’s name serves as an anagram for the phrase “Art Saves.”
This song, whether you actually like the sound of it or not, is an important piece of music for so many people who have gone through this experience. It is without a doubt one of the most intense songs I have listened to date and a true work of art.
Lyrics:
And it sounds like Armageddon. Sounds like…come & drink with me.
And I remember him fucking me, and I remember liking it.
I didn’t know any better.
And I remember the smell, and the pain, & the shame,
and I remember being afraid and thinking everyday,
every single day, that it was my fault.
Oh but what happened to that little girl
who used to dream of one day ruling the world,
who used to draw pretty pictures in my room-beneath the moon?
Destroying to create, softly praying to God
‘What do I do now? What do I do now?’ as I secretly would masturbate.
But then I’d hear his hooves coming down the floor,
with a bible in his hand, softly opening my door and he’d say
‘Daughter! The day of your atonement is due! Well there’s 3 million sinners out there and that includes you!’
No Daddy don’t! No Daddy don’t!
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
No, I don’t want to be free!
So take your dick out of me! Please take your dick out of me!
I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding. It’s not fair, it’s not fair.
You see there’s this little place I like to go, I like to run and hide, deep inside,
where all the nightmares are real, and all the monsters come alive…
Oh, but the things I’ve seen in soft, soft visions and terrifying prophecies,
like serpents on the take and Gods coming in all sizes & shapes and nothing seems fulfilling anymore.
Well your temples are swollen in deceit and the body of your missionary, he’s rotting, rotting in defeat.
Mama? Mama? Mama!
Are the aliens coming to take us away? Is Armageddon gonna happen again today?
Look what he did to me! Why did you do it to me? Why did you do it to me?
I will not cry! I will not cry! I prefer to die than live this life of lies!
Kill what you can! Challenge everything. Vengeance is mine.
Hey, I’m sorry baby.
Baby, please come back inside. We can laugh a little and live and die.
No, wait. See, I got this hot pot of Jonestown tea and it’s been brewing for you & me.
Oh, it only takes one sip. Come on baby. Surrender your lips. I can take you someplace nice!
Breed my disease! Be my disease! And vengeance will be mine.
It’s closer than you think…
So I entered his room at 32 past noon with my little ritual knife.
I cut out his tongue, liberated his wife. She loved me for it, other world woman.
Well, that’s what she called me. Destroyer, the one who sets you free.
Come and drink with me.
We all die like cartoons. Surrender your children, kids who love to kill lies.
And I remember him fucking me, and I remember liking it.
I didn’t know any better.
And I remember the smell, and the pain, & the shame,
and I remember being afraid and thinking everyday,
every single day, that it was my fault.
Oh but what happened to that little girl
who used to dream of one day ruling the world,
who used to draw pretty pictures in my room-beneath the moon?
Destroying to create, softly praying to God
‘What do I do now? What do I do now?’ as I secretly would masturbate.
But then I’d hear his hooves coming down the floor,
with a bible in his hand, softly opening my door and he’d say
‘Daughter! The day of your atonement is due! Well there’s 3 million sinners out there and that includes you!’
No Daddy don’t! No Daddy don’t!
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
No, I don’t want to be free!
So take your dick out of me! Please take your dick out of me!
I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding. It’s not fair, it’s not fair.
You see there’s this little place I like to go, I like to run and hide, deep inside,
where all the nightmares are real, and all the monsters come alive…
Oh, but the things I’ve seen in soft, soft visions and terrifying prophecies,
like serpents on the take and Gods coming in all sizes & shapes and nothing seems fulfilling anymore.
Well your temples are swollen in deceit and the body of your missionary, he’s rotting, rotting in defeat.
Mama? Mama? Mama!
Are the aliens coming to take us away? Is Armageddon gonna happen again today?
Look what he did to me! Why did you do it to me? Why did you do it to me?
I will not cry! I will not cry! I prefer to die than live this life of lies!
Kill what you can! Challenge everything. Vengeance is mine.
Hey, I’m sorry baby.
Baby, please come back inside. We can laugh a little and live and die.
No, wait. See, I got this hot pot of Jonestown tea and it’s been brewing for you & me.
Oh, it only takes one sip. Come on baby. Surrender your lips. I can take you someplace nice!
Breed my disease! Be my disease! And vengeance will be mine.
It’s closer than you think…
So I entered his room at 32 past noon with my little ritual knife.
I cut out his tongue, liberated his wife. She loved me for it, other world woman.
Well, that’s what she called me. Destroyer, the one who sets you free.
Come and drink with me.
We all die like cartoons. Surrender your children, kids who love to kill lies.
 |
| My plan is to save a couple thousand dollars then after go to a bookstore and by tons of books and come back home and build my own personal library |
Personally for me the sign of good musical art is lyrics that on its own can be read as beautiful poetry.
"I ate the spine of Atlas now the world is crushing me" - Otep
(truly exquisite command of the english language)
One day i hope to return here and write some more therapeutic babble and maybe completely overhaul the design of the blogs I've got a alot of pictures to share with the cyberworld whether they are looking or not. Oh and to talk about love again jesus fuck hormones man.
Till then.
