What 2012 Means To Me + A Moral Dilemma

As the fireworks went off early from my neighbours at 9am, my dog jumped into my lap scared shitless of the bangs and screaming all around. I sat in front of the tele watching MTV and playing Age Of Mythology <3. I continued to watch MTV Classic till about 12 and almost forgot to switch back to Channel 9 because i was too busy laughing my ass off at South Park.


As me and Poncho both sat watching the fireworks i didn't feel excited or exuberant. Instead i felt empty and sentimental. The aerial shots of the fireworks only made it more clear to me how small and insignificant we all are and the countdown only served as a cruel reminder of the fact that I'm still going to die and my life is slowly ending one minute at a time.


In order to switch my mood i decided to counter the annoying party music that was being played from all the neighbours. I went over to the stereo and started playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit"at max volume. The floor beneath me began to shake and the walls of my house began to pulse. As i ran around opening my windows i was jumping around screaming and head banging like a crazy fuck. I felt ecstatic and overwhelmed. After that i finished convulsing at the end of the song, i realised my dog was still in the room   and his face said : "dude... what the fuck....." 


and then i played Age Of Mythology for another 3 hours + chasing my dog around the garden at 2am.


This morning i was awoken by my mother screaming that i had to go church. FUCKING HELL MAN FIRST DAY OF THE YEAR I HAD TO GO LISTEN TO SOME RETARDED WHITE ROBED PEDOPHILE. When i reached the place i thought FUCK THIS im going to go sit outside and listen to music.


Now this is the sort of shit that would get me kicked out so as i sat outside i had millions of scenarios run thorough my head. 

"Ok i have a wallet with 70 bucks, house keys, a phone with music and half battery, should i go back and grab some clothes? What about the money i have stashed in my floor? Should i call someone to ask to stay? should i grab some food and water? how much can i carry? Should i grab my japan plane ticket? OH FUCK what about my dog? will the bus driver give me an exception and let me on the bus with him? should i walk it all the way to my friends place? won't i run out of food? etc. etc. 


As i was contemplating my escape a lady walked up to me and said can you pass a message to priest? She left me a letter which was about a dying old woman in a nursing home who wanted the priest to perform her last rites before before she died.


As i sat there i had a small mental battle. One side of me wanted to give the letter to the priest and be a morally upright person. The other side of me wanted to rip it up and just burn the letter to ashes and say good fucking riddance to the old bitch who choose to waste her whole life in God and just let her die in fear of the nothingness she would receive in time.


Now since i have been able to write this post it means that i did give the letter in the end and that calmed my parents and so i have not been kicked out yet.
But fuck i REALLY wanted to burn that fucking letter and i still do.


( My next rant will be my official declaration of my undying love for Amy Lee <3)


also i just realised i didnt think about grabbing my passport and birth certificate *holy crap*