Hmmm

5000 page hits? woah really, i didn't even notice though its probably just people flicking through blogs. But just to celebrate.

Hope for humanity temporarily rekindled. Yes he looks kind of girlish but who fucking cares. Hes got more money than you or me.

Today as I drove my friend home from a birthday party i reflected on the fears I had before i left home. The biggest fear of all was losing friends. Yet now I have slowly begun to realise it is in times of dire need that those who were really your friends truly rise to the occasion and prove their worth.

Another realisation that dawned on me tonight was how hard it is to bring oneself to admit defeat or that they are at fault. Its a hard thing to apologise and deflate your ego temporarily. Take this for example. Tonight at Fiona, Rebecca and Eugenes joint birthday dinner, I saw Aaron. Now from the moment I met Aaron I didn't like his personality and his mannerisms. I don't remember clearly why but i do remember calling him on saying things like 'TROLOLOLCEPTION'. Probably because I kind of consider myself a more elaborate troll and to me this was a disgrace to the elegant and subtle art of trolling.. BUT ANYWAY part of me wanted to just sit put and not say a word to him but then i thought... hes never done anything wrong to me, just annoyed me with his behaviour. So after a good 5 or 10 minutes of my hand convulsing I finally brought myself to shake his hand and call for peace.

He couldnt remember exactly why I was apologising but took it nonetheless. Now this was the moment I realised that I could learn something from Aaron. He is able to get agitated and unhappy and angry but is very easy at moving on and forgetting about the issue. My ego could benefit from a quality like this.

I've never been good at socialising with others and even if I do manage to strike up a conversation theres no saying how I'd ever be able to keep up with others if we met again in another setting unless they also intended to befriend me. Nevertheless tonight i also realised that a good ice breaker for any first time interaction is musical interests. At the party I sat next to a girl named Cindy. We had already exchanged the regular tidbits of info, what school were you from, what are you studying etc.

Then it became awkward because the conversation died off. I dont have the gift of spontaneous conversation, namely the ability to keep a conversation flowing. So it fell quiet between us and as i casually swirled the water in my glass I realised that she wasn't putting in the effort to talk to anyone else, maybe she doesnt know too many others here?

So i popped the question 'What kind of music are you into'. The conversation EXPLODED. I wont go into details but shes more into RNB and Hip Hop but has tried a little of everything. The conversation then flowed into one about movies such as Lord of the Rings and how we bought cried when we watched Michael Jacksons funeral.

:(

Yep personally I will be using this ice breaker ALOT from now on. It fucking works.

On a random side note I really wanna try a psychdelic drug like DMT or LSD before I die.