Letter of Resignation

This is the original unaltered raw letter that i wrote, the first draft of it, the first attempt at leaving a reason for why i left my old life behind me. Its littered with profanity and is quite childish in hindsight but meh whatever

If you haven’t realized yet, I've taken up on your offer of leaving this house and going to find my own way through life. I don’t remember when exactly I began to doubt my faith but it happened over many years. The day I threw down my chains and freed myself from religious burden was probably the day that you sat me down and read me that passage about Gideon or some other made up figure and told me after reading it that basically I was an idiot and a fool for praying for God to stop the bullying that happened to me during high school and that I should have fought back and not been such a pussy.

Now for years before that I was told that I should pray for my enemies and forgive them and just pray to God and everything would be fine. I lost the only chance I had to stand up for myself and destroy my enemies. Back when I may have cared for this family I thought I wont fight and make any trouble, I don’t want to have to move schools because my parents will be affected if I do. To have my own parents tell me that after so many years, that was the final nail in the coffin as I realized that religion was entirely bullshit and contradictory and it was also the moment that I realized I felt no love or care for my supposed family. Its actually quite difficult to maintain a two faced personality, you’d be surprised at how mentally draining it is. When you realized you could no longer control me through religion you demanded that I at least show some respect.

However no matter how hard I’ve tried I cannot bring myself to respect any parents who would treat their child in such a horrific way. If I had explained this to you earlier you would have laughed at me and said HAHA get over it you have victim syndrome boo hoo. I’m sorry but you fail to grasp the severity of your actions and how deeply you scarred me. Naturally since I feel no love for this family and since I am no longer what you call a ‘team player’ it makes sense that I should no longer stay here and live off your expenses. Being the selfish person I am I have indeed been using this family quite a while for mere financial security. I debated whether I should just wait 3 years to get over university first but I realized that if financial security came at the expense of emotional security then I wasn’t going to put up with religious indoctrination any longer. Ungrateful as I am in the end it’s my life in the end of the day and I’ve longed for the day where I would be able to regain some control over it. The hatred I harbor for this dysfunctional family is brimming at the edges and close to near bursting and lately its become hard to conceal just how much I’d like to see you all dead and rotting in a ditch. Unlike you deluded people I realize that this is the only life I have to live, there is no happy ending where we all meet again in some theme park where we all gather and worship God for all eternity like some kind of sick twisted celestial North Korea.

This is my only life and its ticking away one-minute at a time. If the only way to regain some balance of life is to leave then no one will stand in my way, no not even the couple who fucked to create me.  The idea of blood relations repulses me, family for me is whoever I want it to be. As you have no doubt guessed in recent times I indeed consider some of my friends as more family than you. I’m sure that many people think I’m stupid for thinking about family in such a way but that does not concern me. Family is whoever I want it to be, whether or not the person I consider family thinks of me in the same way, that is irrelevant. Respect isn’t innate, it is earned.

I’ve already quit university and there is no need to worry, the HECS debt is 2000 dollars but its under my tax file number which I will deal with myself. I have no right to take the car so I will leave it here. I’ve taken only my important documents and a few cds books and posters and other materialistic possessions. I’ve left the keys here and I exited through the garage. Feel free to change the locks, I wont ever be coming back. This was no easy decision and it was not a hasty one either. I’ve waited for this day for many years.  Just as you liked to quote bible passages at me heres one for you, you picky bastards, why don’t you read your fucking bible from cover to cover instead of picking and choosing the few nice parts to bullshit about.

For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 
³⁶and a man's foes will be those of his own household. 
³⁷He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (Matt. 10:35-37; Luke 12:51-53)

While I don’t ever want to bring children of my own into a corrupted world populated by so many insane and stupid people I will tell you this. If I was told to do, what all Monotheists are told to do and admire Abraham, admire the man who said yes I kill my kid to show my love of God I would say no FUCK YOU. Now then if God appeared and ordered you to kill me would you do it? Of course you would you idiots, even my own mother admitted that she would. This is how far the termites have spread and you can see how deep they have burrowed and how well they have dined.

You fucking hypocrites. This may look like a childish cry for independence, but I assure you that this is actually a mans desire for rebirth, a revolution for one. I have no love nor sympathy for anyone anymore. This is what you’ve turned me into. I expect nothing from you and likewise you should expect nothing from me anymore. Yes I am a worthless piece of shit son who is ungrateful and selfish but hey this might all be part of God mighty fucking plan. If not? Then ill see you all in Hell.