Yeah uni is fucking hectic soo many cows and sheep and shit oh wait i forgot about how im alone with my music and laptop and haha theres a shuttle bus im doing what again? oh yeah scientific literacy introduction to chemistry biodiversity and forensic science cant wait to go splash pig blood all over the crime scene facility im listening to Blind - Korn fuck i hope they tour australia soon OH YEAH IVEGOT AN EVANESCENCE CONCERT jesus i cant fucking wait im giving up a lecture for it fuck uni this a once in a life time experience mosh pit is going to be crazy probably get my glasses broken
ran around campus like a fucking retard coz some clashese clashed was told i should just change courses so i sank into a depressive state more depressive than usual even i was surprised i could do that but at the last minute i managed to get myself back on my hairy feet and keep moving forward. haha my parents got jealous that i bought more stuff back for my friends but then i should have hidden my gifts probably just made it more clear that i dont give a shit about them
seeing the k11 fort st kids again really boosted my happiness levels back up though i still miss the japanese peeps alot, even more so than the experience of freedom i had maybe one day ill go back but anyway met up with the lads and ladies gave out my various gifts and presents for the majority of the gifts i didnt mind giving it away because these guys and girls who may not care for me too much are my true family fuck respect for parents and blood relations respect should be earned
i love my friends and it saddens me sometimes that they will never know how much they truly mean to me i was soo bloody excited the night before meeting up i couldnt sleep and almost missed the bus been having alot of depraved thoughts lately not quite sure why i feel happy after meeting up with everyone but sometimes im seized by a maniacal homicidal urge or impulse for some reason if i can hold on for a few more years i can probably move out safely without needing to start over from square 1
hmm got alot of work ahead of me but its ok i think i can handle it *cue random loss off self control* started listening to a new band latest infatuation? the girl who sings in EarlyRise not bloody bad for a new band guess i have to admit that sometimes i like poetic lyrics and storytelling but other times its Korn and Nirvana the new speakers from japan work so beautifully i want to cry sometimes its soooo orgasmic the way the bass creates ripples in the air i leave it on all night so that im awoken by my speakers connected to the alarm clock on my phone at 6am in the morning
i looked at my travel diary again and laughed at the fortune especially at the "dont bother with love this year" part, looks like im flying the singles lane forever alone with music as my muse i guess its good enough for now after watching MTV one day i raged at how shitty it had become and suddenly i thought HOLY SHIT DARIA WAS THE BEST SHOW so i wet and watched it all again and i cried at how good MTV and life was back in the 90's i wish i had been born in the 90's fuckkkkk
"Don't worry, I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone
else." - Daria
If only i had rewatched Daria just as i had been starting high school and burned this quote into the electrical circuits of my brain i wouldnt be such a twisted person anymore who knows probably maybe>? well fuck it its a good ideal but i think i quite like who i am right now i just dont like some of the people around me and live with and my current situation
but life is shit and then you die, why not plough on? i remember my friend K talking about how she wanted to die young but not too young i was thinking jesus fucking christ girl you're only in year 11 this year well haha i dunno why i cared soo much about her saying that seeing as my current goal is to join my personal lord and saviour Kurt Cobain and join the 27 club so it looks like i have... another 15 years to make the best of it before i go and fall asleep and not give a shit about nothing anymore? hmmm im ok with this
that's so sweet ! LOL the you love your friends so much part :DDDD
ReplyDeletethanks for reinforcing the fact that they will never know into my head i had a random thought on the train today seeing as my friends are my family shen i die should i leave money for them? or give it to a charity wait fuck that ill just by a shitload of figurines and demand in my will that i be buried with them :) bahaha you have uni tomorrow sucka
ReplyDeletehahas you know your family does love you or else they wouldnt have likeee even allowed you to stay ! they must love you to an extent or else they'd probs not let you use the net or have a comp trololol. NOPEEE I HAVE UNI NEXT WEEK WOOOT. no tutorials last week , dont go to lectures!
ReplyDeleteWell i know that they love me, i just hate their guts and see them nothing more than a source of financial security and id love nothing more than to come back home and find out that the house is burning with all of them inside, of course that would mean id lose all my prized possessions and possibly my dog but meh shit happens, aren't i just the worse :P
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